A bit of a rant but I'm honestly trying to figure out what the hell is going on. After setting up a get together tonight I'm in absolute disbelief at how much dating sucks in this area. I'm not quasimodo, I'm 6'0" and 205, so I totally got that in-style dad bod going on, but honestly I'm aiming for 180. I have some troubles with just returning from AZ and getting set up for school but I'm far from a neckbeard or basement-dwelling 30 year old child. I've always been gawky and a bit socially inept, but not terrible. I've been trying to figure out what I'm doing wrong, but I'm not the only one going through this by far after talking to some male friends, and this sort of thing happens literally nowhere else I've ever been trying to date outside of NOVA.
I cannot count the number of times I have set up dates and plans and meet ups with countless women here to have them leave the pan-galactic plane of existence just at the cusp of actually meeting. Don't get me wrong, I get sometimes you're not in to it but you're playing along to be nice, sometimes shit happens and fucks up your plans etc but for the love of christ why can you not say anything about what's going on so I at least know that the plans are cancelled? Or maybe that you've lost interest? Or even that you're still alive. Just something so I don't get ready and head out or commit a good amount of time to trying to meet up with you to be left hanging with no clue what's going on. It's just plain rude and terrible manners.
I've had months where I went on a frenzy of setting up dates through a combination of meeting in person and people online, and set up more dates than I had days in the month to have exactly 0 turnout. And I mean that literally no one showed up to any of the plans that I had set up for coffee, lunch or drinks. I try to set up these meetups in safe, neutral, casual settings, nothing over bearing, hey let's meet and talk I like your profile and your pictures. But just, what the fuck is going on? Why am I getting so many girls (whether online or in person) to start chatting regularly, swap numbers and chat some more, finally set up a date only to have her disappear from the face of the earth and never hear a word again?
What sparked my bitchfest tonight was setting up something with this one girl on POF. I messaged her towards the end of my shift at work saying hey were you still interested in meeting? (around 7)
Around 9 she replies yes are you free tonight. I tell her yes I am, where does she want to meet. She lives in reston. I live in X town not far away, it's easy for me to get there. Here's my number, what's yours? I'm pretty much ready to go whenever you are so let me know. I screenshotted the chat so if anyone wants to tell me proof or gtfo, give me an imgur to post it (I don't want to create one for two pictures and then never use it again)(Of course I will blur user names, numbers and pictures for privacy)
Radio silence after that. It's just baffling to me. This happens nearly every single time with NOVA/DC area girls. Baltimore? Plans are plans and dates happen. AZ? you set something up and it usually happens. NC? Eh the pickings were a bit slimmer but still, you set up a date and everyone met up.
What is going on with this area?
EDIT: TIL you don't need an account to upload to imgur. Screenshots of said chat. Screenshot 1 Screenshot 2
This isn't a rant against this girl specifically, it's just that it happens so damned often that's driving me batty.
EDIT 2: And the survey say that POF is regarded as somewhere to hook up! That was actually a really important thing for me to find out. It's a different meaning to ask for coffee or drinks on a hookup site rather than a dating site. I'm enjoying the discussion about it.
EDIT 3: I just want to say I appreciate all the discussion and people to talk to. I don't expect to resolve X or Y out of this but it makes me feel better to just talk about it and get it out of my system.
Conrad Barski, author of "Land of Lisp" (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1593272812
) will be giving a talk entitled Land of Lisp: The Clojure-ish Parts
at the National Capital Area Clojure Users Group (CAPCLUG) on November 18, 2010 at 6:15 pm. The meeting will be held at 12021 Sunset Hills Road Suite 400, Reston, VA. Pizza and drinks are provided as part of the admission cost of $0.00 USD. The talk will be followed by mingle time whereby you can talk to programmers interested (and at times well versed in) Clojure, Common Lisp, Scheme, Ruby, Java, and the Kent Recursive Calculator.
Please consider signing up at the CAPCLUG meeting site (http://www.meetup.com/Cap-Clug/calenda14802573
) so that we know how much food and beverage to provide.
I will be watching this thread for the next 3 days to answer any questions.
If we're lucky we will get a live performance of the hit single, Land of Lisp
! (music video at http://landoflisp.com